| depresssion |
[Jul. 11th, 2006|02:33 pm] |
writing you down, on hundreds of pages, thinking not once, not twice but four times.
passing up no opportunity, questioning no kinds of answers. and you wonder...
why why why? im still hangin round your place when we're suppose to be over.
but i just can't, seem to let you go from here without me.
And you just gotta know that its not over for me.
and you just gotta understand that im still hangin round hoping hoping you'll come back to me. |
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| sunny sunday |
[Jul. 2nd, 2006|01:44 pm] |
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more and more everyday im thankful for the people in my life that i meet and already know. its crazy the stuff that's gone on this year too but seriously its been great. i mean even though we've all done stuff we probably will at one point regret.. its been the year of true life living. i haven't sat on my ass and done nothing this past year. i've gotten buisy. and i love living my life. maybe im still breaking out of my box but better slow than all at once. its fun. i love doing fun things and dumb things. scary things that threaten your life or things that just plain old threaten your insurance rates. lol its been nuts. and thank you for making it like this. though i still haven't decided to pull my head out of my butt im having fun. and as a young teenager.. that's really all that matters! :) well not really but you gotta live now because there's not much time left to enjoy doing the things that soon will be legal for you. lol yunno? its too much fun to live dangerously. even though i haven't lived dangerous its still been a bit sketchy. shady. woooo woooo. lol idk idk!!!!!!!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 23rd, 2006|08:17 pm] |
NEXTS:
1. next person you will kiss?
Blake of course
2. Next movie you want to see?
X-Men 3 or Pirates of the Carribean
3. Next person you want to sleep with?
i want to FALL asleep with blake
.4. Next car you want to have:
Jeep DUH omgsh a TJ Jeep soft top MMMM
5. Next time you're going out:
um tomorrow to school or maybe this weekend somewhere nice.
6. Next time you're going to move?
ha hopefully next summer
7. Next thing you're going to save money for?
something very expensive i will not say
8. Next time that you will drink water:
right..............now
9. Next person you are going to call:
uh not sure. either heather or blake those are the two ppl i call. op nope scratch that chelsea because i missed ap
10. Next place you'll take vacation:
CANADA i hope
11. Next thing you are going to do after filling this survey?
eat a gobstopper
12. Next thing you are going to eat?
a gobstopper
11. Next time you plan to drive?
tomorrow.. unfortunately i need gas.
14. Next thing you are going to do outside:
walk around campus
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LASTS:
1. Last person you spoke to:
my mom and dad when i told them a funny story
2. Last movie:
umm white chicks.. pretty funny
3. Last person you thought of:
the boner phone guy at the college
4. Last school you went to:
green river
6. Last run in with the Law:
driving blakes truck speeding...
7. Last fight you were in:
um its been forever so i dunno.
8. Last person you e-mailed:
heath
9. Last thing you ate:
GOBSTOPPER geeze stop asking
10. Last thing you saved up money for:
bikini
----------------------------------------------------
FIRSTS:
First car:
jeep
First love:
blake burrill
First pet:
sneakers
First word/phrase:
mom? dad?
First best friend:
chrissy
First school:
washington
First car accident:
psh way tooo long ago.. mom was driving though lol |
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| You've gotta FIGHT for your RIGHTS |
[Apr. 18th, 2006|11:19 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | determined | ] |
letting the past be the past and letting the future come naturally.
as one of the many people who lives in their past and others pasts its so hard to let go of certain things. somehow you manage to not forget the tiniest detail that ruined your first day of high school or made it the best. somehow everything that was great isn't anymore and what is great is extremely hard to come by. You find yourself expecting things to get easier as summer approaches but you find that things are only going to get harder. knowing that another year has almost passed fully. that just yesterday it seemed as if it were new years eve and we were all counting down until the clock struck twelve and it became... 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006... soon 2007 and graduation is here. can you believe it almost four years of high school gone and everyone will graduate and move on. a lot of us will go away and some will stay. the graduates will spread out across the states doing what they want with their blip of an exhistance "life" until their 80 years old and sitting down with their grand children talking about their prom date. or getting married to grandpa.
life is all too short. most would say: "get out there and live" or "lifes short so ride hard" but seriously... you see it and you giggle because someone has that bumper sticker across the rear of their car but in reality... life is short. too short to be short lived. really live. do what you want. when you want. theres a point when no is not even a word in the dictionary anymore nor a word in our vocabulary. its like everytime someone says "no" someone presses a button and bleeps it out like the f word on tv. you just dont hear it anymore. you will rebel at some point in your life.. whether it be sooner or later. and regardless of the answer.. somehow we'll find a way to make it possible to make it yes. and not the big fat "NO". we'll rebel even if there is a perfectly wonderful explanation of why not. it doesn't matter we'd rather rise to the occasion and fall hard then stay on the ground at a constant obeying all laws and rules. the beauty of being a teenager/young adult... rebellion is legal. |
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| lately |
[Mar. 23rd, 2006|07:49 pm] |
lately everything is so up and so down. im so confused. life is going crazy i just want to put it on pause and examine it so i can understand whats going on with me. im scared, im excited, im nervous, im lively, im lonely, im exhausted, yet im so happy and i like what i have and want nothing better. i wanna go bikini shopping asap. its getting warmer by the day, i can feel it. aha im gaining more and more weight by the day too. but im going to start going running at least three times a week. and im gonna start doing a couple hundred sit-ups everyday just to get rid of the pooch im getting. hopefully that will help.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH blake started working out again its so hot to watch him work out. he puts on a pair of nasty sweats and takes off her shirt and just does his thing. its almost entertaining. lol gay huh?
nothing new, nothing old, doichy |
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| fix you |
[Mar. 17th, 2006|08:42 pm] |
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When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
High up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...
Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from the mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
i love this song. coldplay is just.. sends little tinglies down your spine. those highlighted lines are the ones that just stand out the most. i love it. i listen to it and it has a just instrumental part and it makes you wanna look at the stars and close your eyes and relax and just LIVE. mhm!
i heart him
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| the cleaning queen |
[Mar. 13th, 2006|10:12 am] |
im going crazy. so nervous to find out the final results of a "popular vote". your whole body just twitches in excitement and nervousness. your stomach feels light like its full with helium. you feel like screaming but if you do you won't be able to stop laughing. your that nervous. tonight is when the captains for next season are announced... and its probably even more scary than getting on that four inch beam and jumping and turning around. yeah. its scary. but yet there's alittle bit of hopefulness. but the reassurance to not be devasted if things go south. yunno?
life is crazy. i dunno why but it just seems like it is. i mean the weather for instance. it was snowing three days ago. and now its sunny and beautiful and warm so much that you might actually need the air conditioner in your car rather than the heat for once. the weather is all over the place. right? is it just me who thinks this. every year things just get stranger and stranger. its nuts. absolutely. lol today is a laughing day. one of those days when you feel sillier than silly can make you. i love it. |
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| Are you ready for this? |
[Mar. 7th, 2006|07:50 pm] |
SuMMeR is coming. Are you ready?
My #1
My #2
My #3
I need a bikini! Those are just three of like a bazillion choices. But basically this summer I want to look so freaking hot. Even though I'll settle for 'pretty' definately not 'cute'. Point is... Im pretty sure this summer is going to be one of the best... Ever. I hope. Don't know. Coolie. Oh Em Gee. ahahaha Feeling mighty fine, Feelin mighty fine at this time. yaha! Peace |
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| sciatic maniac |
[Mar. 5th, 2006|01:14 am] |
i think i have sciatica. i've spent most of my day in soo much pain running up and down the backs of my legs and thru my feet. but im not sure. yunno my dad has it from back problems and now i might have it.. you can get it from having lower back injuries. so curious curious. i've never felt this before. its soo weird. its like growing pains that you get in your knees but instead it just freaks your muscles out and makes them hurt so bad. so meagan invited me to go bowling. but i was eating quiznos with blake and then i was gettin ready to bone out to babysit for a lady that lives down the street. i've never met her before and she got my number from dacca and called and i was like mmm sure... i guess. sometimes yunno babysittin is cool n' stuff because its laid back and easy to do. but most of the time i seriously wanna scream. depends on the kid(s) i think. anyways. i wish i could have gone it would have been fun! idk if they even wound up doing that.
amber's was soo much fun i couldn't believe how many people were there. it was just crazy. the hot tub over flowed! HA! and yeah. it was a lot of fun. i got tired all super early. but whatev. slept on ambers SUPER uncomfy bed. ate her moms SUPER good cooking. which i really wish i had some french toast right about now. lol. ah well. its late. and my legs are killing me. so im gonna try to sleep it off..
hey heath? did you go four byin with alex?????? |
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| when you know you know |
[Feb. 26th, 2006|10:24 pm] |
He's my babe. When im with him, i use the words he uses. He wants me to dance, i can't dance. I can dance, but will i dance? No. Well actually i will but only when no one's watching. We cry together during sad movies.. don't tell... i caught him. I drove him nuts with grey's anatomy that he now likes it. Same with desperate housewives.
I heart him. Love him. Adore him. Its pathetic.
that picture idea.. totally stolen from heath. can't help it.
its been a long weekend. i been soo sick all weekend its disgusting. snot rags, laundry, i feel nasty. now grey's anatomy is on and its oh so juicy. idk the point of this. soo i went and met blake's sponsor this weekend and we went hot tubbin and it was actually fuN! except the other girls there had HUGE boobs and were tan and fakey blonde and old and i felt like a little kid. oh well. still fun. i think i need dance lessons. anyone up fer it? i need to go to gym. blah. blah blah. school tomorrow. sick. i hate school. yet i love it. crap. oh well. anyways. ok. im done. AHA. bye. |
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| hellooo scooze me. scoooooze me! hello?! |
[Feb. 18th, 2006|10:05 pm] |
shes a human traffic accident & everyone is slowing down too view the wreck.
im so sick on the inside. lately i just ugh maybe its just cause it was getting close to that time but idk i just i couldn't eat anything i mean ANYTHING for seirously three days.. friday all i ate were rollos that heather gave me. saturday all i ate was a couple bites of teriyaki and today sunday i eat a couple cheez its.. go to wendy's and go oh shoot i started... and then i just PIG OUT its so weird. but whatev. the whole world i guess didn't really need to know that.
lately things have been going well between blake and i and im so happy. except yunno he stopped by after work today for two hours before i left for wendy's and we were talking and josh schneider calls. i didn't wanna answer it just because it wasn't an important call and blake was like just answer it. i was like no im with you and your much more important. and he got kinda sad and slunked on the couch and i sat there and couldn't get words out of him. and then i knew what he was thinking. he's so afraid im gonna cheat on him cause all his other relationships have ended that way. but i know 100 percent that im NOT going to. when you know you know. and i tried to tell him and he goes babe that's what all my other girlfriends have said... and look how it turned out. finally i just dumped it on him the way i felt and how cheating did not even occupy the biggest nor the smallest space in my mind. i felt bad because that's the way it ends.. but at the same time i know for sure that im not gonna do that to him.
anywhoooo... i want summer to be here SO BAD. i wanna be blonder, tan, wearing nothing but a bikini and shorts and i wanna be wet and hair blown and tangly and just overall dirty from summer life. yunno. it seems like you take less showers during the summer just cause you spend that much more time in the water swimming and baking. lol i love it! and im oh so stoked. so like heather and i were gonna go to gym today and when i got there i was actually really wanting it to be open and there was a meet going on.. it sucked! i wanted to work out. i haven't worked out in seriously a month and a half. argh! i feel like im putting on a few pounds. its nasty. i need my muscles back. i miss them. yup!
ald;falskdfj whotev. |
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| Walk this Road |
[Jan. 26th, 2006|09:54 pm] |
the end of the season. the final WEEKS of gym. left sitting like empty pages of a book an author neared finished but did not finish. i never imagined it ending this way. i thought: 'a few meets, then districts, season will be ended there because i don't have the skills to make it to state but season is almost over and just enjoy the time spent with fellow gymnasts' but now the time will be spent enjoying watching my fellow gymnasts compete and have fun while my ass will be sat down wishing for the fun and not having nearly as much of it. i guess thats the way it works sometimes.
right now is a deep time for me. i mean not deep as in dark and depressed. but deep as in thought... thinking about things intricately and processing not only the basic information but examining it to the fullest, as far as my mind can go without having to ask for help finishing. its a time when im questioning life itself, relationships and friendships, futures and pasts. i don't like living in the past... the future is where my mind always seems to be but recently my past and others pasts disturb me. i think about it and my eyes swell its not just anyone its just the people i care most about in my life. its also just an emotional time because my hormones are being toyed with. im sixteen and im feeling things i never knew you could feel. its an emotional rollercoaster to me. and i dont' like it. im angry a lot. i mean all the time when im home.. im flat out angry. and when i go out im in such sweet happiness its weird. but the happiness is thrown off occasionally when people say dumb crap.
i haven't been shopping in FOREVER... i mean august was the last time i was shopping and that was in new york and i didn't even do THAT much shopping. i wanna drive myself around and throw a friend in the front seat and BLAST RAP ok yes i said it RAP R&B WHATEVER all the way to seattle and the mall and wherever! and have a girly shopping day where we can be free by ourselves.. our own mode of transportation and a long day ahead of us. i wanna get lost and have to find my way around a city so large you think it never ends. oh the dreams never end i swear to you.
things have begun to mean more than just the words that describe them. facial expressions have turned into complete fights in my mind and attitudes have become more than attitudes. life is being twisted around. im seeing how on the outside everything looks perfect and on the inside things are oh so wrong. not that i never noticed but people that i know that appear fine and make everything seem perfect.. have the most wrong in their life.. but their optimists and they see it through. they know they'll work it out in the end.. so they pretend that it doesn't exhist.
i started to write again. its been soooo long.. a couple months.. and i've been suffering. my mind feels relaxed when i write i get thoughts out in rhythmic patterns before i go to sleep and it helps me sleep soundly. its good to look back on old works because i remember exactly what i was talking about but no one else would know. its perfect. i can say whatever i wanna say the dirty and the fantastic and only i know what it means. its an amazing feeling.
whew enough writing... too much to read and too much to have typed. late |
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| I ALMOST FORGOT |
[Jan. 24th, 2006|09:53 pm] |
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yesterday i was out with blake and i woke him up so we could do something and picked him up and we drove around bonney lake and we ate wendy's and he said get in the car you're getting a tour. i was like uM!??? so we're driving around and we pull into this ritzy neighborhood where there's hella nice houses over a cliff lookout of tacoma, orting, sumner and you can see auburn way in the distance. and he pulls the jeep off road right up to the cliff where they were building a house and we just park it there and sit on the hood and look out over this immense mass of light clouding the sky. it was beautiful. i'll never forget it. and then he was like wanna see bonney lake? i was like um the actual lake?! ahaha and so we drive on this little off road dirt path and BAM the lake is right there coming up this path.. and it was all foggy so we roll the jeep into the lake and it starts to send ripples across the lake and he's like THERE look at the fog.. and the fog begun to ripple with the water. it was the strangest thing to see. i was speechless watching the fog ripple in sinc with the lake. and he wanted to hike down to this waterfall in the dark but it was HELLA steep and we've already had some bad hiking and steep hill experiences together.. soo that one was left for a day time tour. it was COOL! OH YEAH so we snuck onto tapps island like the RITZY-est island you'll ever go to. everyone had hummers and shit.. they have thier OWN GOLF COURSE! i was like oh hell no. he pulls up to the guard station and hes like we're goin to see the lloyds.. i was like uM who is that?! and he's like yunno lloyd constructiosn? i was like they live here? idK!? lol and funniest thing ever.. we're driving through the island and we pass these ppl with a jacket on.. and it said LLOYD construction.. was like oh my gosh. HA it was HILARIOUS hadda be there. so we picked houses that were on our OMG I WANT list.. which were several.. they are so nice. and he told me stories of parties he'd been too at houses.. it was soooo CRAZY.. it was nuts. but coolie major.. and we sat on his roof and talked about life.. and i left. it was tyte to the max. just a day spent talking and touring and enjoying eachother's company.. what i love the most! |
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| Its a JEEP thing... |
[Jan. 20th, 2006|09:45 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  crazy | ] |
You just wouldn't understand
SO theres so much to say but i dont' have the time or patience to write it all. winter quarter at college started. chem and math are great. im so bored though. i've done all this before once.. so its entirely too easy and entirely too boring. but oh well. i can use the good grades.
gym season might be over early for me. i hope not but i just have that sad depressing feeling that it might be. i mean i start off saying how much i hate gymnastics and how much i just wanna quit... and then when it comes down to getting hurt and having to be out i dont' wanna be. i guess its only because its the end of the season and theres only a few meets left. sad day. i gotta get my doctor to sign me in regardless of how i feel. its ridiculous theres only a few meets left. no big. i'll just have to water down my tumbling. i know some people might think its psychological... but thats only because there is no visible traces where pain could be. there's just PAIN! and its started to make my legs ache. and my love handles ache. it hurts to breathe. its FREAKIN RETARDED. im sick of it.
blake and i are great. im so happy i can't even describe it. at the same time i just can't get enough. yunno? its like he's my drug and i've become addicted and the time we spend together isn't enough to satisfy me. its so dangerous. but he makes me wanna explore so much more of the world. i mean he takes away my fears and puts confidence to take risks into me. that could probably be dangerous too. funny... boys are dangerous! lol but yeah. psha. he's the best. and did i mention he's a FANTASTIC kisser?! lol
sooooooooooo that's all fer now i gotta go do something i mean its friday night and gimpy mcclug is sitting at home with her parents. i hate it! i wanna be out away from home for just a few hours. but nooo not tonight there's nothing to do until tomorrow and sunday. GO HAWKS! hella |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 8th, 2006|10:53 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  angry | ] |
To hell all you crack addicts, pot heads, mother fuckers livin wit your mothers, you steal and you lie fuck, you cheat and you hate, but your hated when you lie and you cheat and you steal from the innocent for a quick fix. on and on the lies, deceit, hate batted back a forth, who wants it? and you hate it. but you do it anyway. so fuck all you quick fix drug addicts who wander the streets lookin to make a fast buck.. and it ain't worth it. believe me... when you think your bullet proof, bitch you'll go down, you'll go down, i'll be there bringin you down, steal from and i'll bring you down bitch bring you down.
someone broke into my jeep. yup. they just fuckin opened the door and went through shit. i no longer have back speakers cause they jacked them. FUCK THEM! they left the fuckin doors wide open. they let the whole world know i've been violated. luckily that's the only thing they got.. nothin else important was in there. i hate this world.. its goin down.. oh yeah its goin down.
"...god won't let it stand this way..."
so a word.. don't leave valuable, important, SHIT in your car or it will WILL get stolen. the creeps who wander. |
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| your eyes make me melt |
[Dec. 19th, 2005|11:57 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bored | ] |
___
|_0_|a camera:
has mirrors
a shutter
film
and a lense
each has a purpose:
lenses: focus the image which is channeled through the lense and reflected off the...
mirrors: reflect the image from one to the next where when the...
Shutter: is opened it releases light onto the...
FILM: which then can be taken out and printed.
that's a rather vague description but ide rather not go into detail.. i've had the detailed description from my dad the PHOTOGRAPHER and trust me its quite long.
i love human eyes. they are strangly disgusting and so beautifully intriguing. correct? i think most people would agree its one of the first things they notice about people. that and hair, boobs, weight, ect. but eyes just reflect your personality. the way that you blink or dart them around can tell whether your high, aware of your surroundings or impressed. look into someones eyes and notice the actions. its amazing. the human body was created so beautifully it could not possibly work any better. with human imperfection of course comes deformities and things that don't work. but with perfection comes a healthy beautifully working body that can grow children and produce shit from the ass. either way its a miracle. correct?
mankind has come far with their technology... just an observation.
sometimes i laugh at how people have placed other PEOPLE on pedestals. actors, actresses, athletes ect. these people who are normal in every way except the career they chose are placed on the highest of pedastals and watched, chased, photographed, and loved by millions. kinda weird... they're no different then us except they have exceptional talents.. but so do we. sure burping loudly or being able to alphebatize books aren't exactly AMAZING but they're still talents some of which im sure these stars that we think so highly of cannot accomplish. we're all different... but only to an extent.
do you ever find yourself wishing there was other life... yunno out there.. far away in another galaxy some other civilization some other thriving working planet that maintains a normal life according to them and is searching for something too? its possible. we dunno. im curious because if there was another planet full of life and technology i wanna visit.. just another random moment. lol
YUP |
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| lets make it work |
[Dec. 17th, 2005|11:37 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  calm | ] |
the steps to analyzing and acting on a situation:
step 1... find a situation
step 2... ask questions
step 3... attack from both sides
step 4... the most important vs. not so important
step 5... give time and take time
as said: the first step to fixing the problem is admitting you have one.
no wishes, just hope. not try, just do. don't take, give. don't hate, love.
i have a problem. several actually...
FIRST: I spend way too much time with blake. everyone knows it and chelsea has been talking to me about it lately. heather has said things and so has meagan and amber. the four girls i love so much notice and i don't. its blinding you could say. liking someone as much as i do him it blinds me from seeing the rest of the world. theres no excuses that im trying to make.. its just im realizing things that i haven't before. i miss my friends a lot. as heather's wonderful boyfriend would say: follow your heart.
A FOOTNOTE FOR HEATHER: -- your boyfriend is a great guy. he's really helpful when you need to have a serious conversation. without having to mention any facts and figures he can give you the perfect answer. but you already know he's a great guy! im really happy for you both. its a wonderful match! i hope it stays for a very long time.
i feel as if im stuck in the middle of a crappy situation. niether my best friend or my boyfriend like eachother. it kinda sucks to be stuck knowing that. it would suck for anyone who was in the middle... thats where analyzing the situation comes in... i wish i only knew EXACTLY why they both don't like eachother. i know vaguly but not enough.
lately i've been doing a lot of stupid crap. showing late to gymnastics, being a flat out bitch to people for no reason, being lazy, goofing off.. ect. yesterday/today i became the person i never wanted to be. the hypocrit. i want nothing more than to change that right now. sure you have a good time, but when you pull your head back out of your ass you realize exactly what you just did and you can't go back and change any of it. all you can do is act upon it and change the future. i want to do that.
i feel as if im drifting further and further away from my best friend. maybe its just all psychological. maybe its just the stressful time of year. i miss her so much and i've been neglecting the nurturing our friendship needs to stay healthy. we don't hang out much anymore. sure there's school and gymnastics but those are stressful.. and don't always make for a good time. a one on one day would be so fun. i miss those kinds of days where we call eachother up spur of the moment and do something.
my life is not as stressful as many peoples. i have nothing to complain about except the things i've done to myself. change is in the cards. and i only hope that other's will except change.
for those who know the crap i've been pulling lately, i apologize. |
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| sometimes |
[Dec. 16th, 2005|02:01 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | crazy | ] |
sometimes things just can't be helped i guess. i've gotten lazy. and i really hate doing certain things. i can't begin to express how much i truly HATE gymnastics. i love it still though only when im out there. im nervous to compete but then i get out there and i feel like this is it. its like everyones fifteen minutes of fame. just being alone, up on the equipment doing your thing with no one else getting to tell you how that looks wrong or you should do this. you can do whatever you want. then i hate it because i hate dealing with coaches and captains. its bullshit. i can't stand it. and for some reason i hate myself because i can never be on time. there is no i was doing this or doing that. sometimes your just late. late because of traffic or idiot drivers or WHATEVER your just late. theres not always the i was with so n' so or doctors or dentist or boyfriend or garage sale or shopping or ankle taping. sometimes its just im running late. there are soo many idiot drivers on the road i swear. and people complain about my driving. here's my answer to those that complain about it. i don't speed, i do the recommended dosage of speeding: five miles over. i don't cut people off unless that person is A) in my way or B) endangering my life AND i drive agressively and if your not gonna drive agressive alil fast and cut people off when you have to... then your not gonna get anywhere. drivers will pass you and cut you off for being a slow driver. driving slow is dangerous as well. prolly more dangerous that driving fast because people have to pass you and that involves several hence PEOPLE plural.. when you drive fast you are the one endangering people therefore usually endanger one as you pass or cut them off. idk either way its dangerous but in some cases one is safer than the other. so if you drive slow.. get off the road. i love driving behind people that drive six miles over. because its perfect i keep a good distance and i don't have to ride their ass. today i drove behind someone all the way down tapps hill and i rode their ass half way down and they finally gased it and went forty five. i was like FINALLY WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE. thats what makes me late to things. i estimate good times to get places. i had half an hour to get from lake tapps to auburn high school. usually it takes me fifteen minutes. it took me THIRTY FIVE MINUTES. it was unbelievable and i was even driving fifty. and i ran across the school parking lots and through the gym lobby. gad i hate driving for the reason that people just don't get how to fucking drive. grr! im no pro driver but i mean c'mon no one drives FIVE miles UNDER the speed limit. i mean who does that?! a fucking danish person!? no. drive fast or don't drive. |
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| those ____ little words changed my life |
[Dec. 15th, 2005|06:25 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | cranky | ] |
Will you marry me? --asks it
I Do. --seals it
We gotta talk. --worries you
Its over. --breaks it
Why? --questions it
Its not me its you. --worst excuse in the name of mankind
Fine. --proves the dumpee knows its over, and knows your excuse was bullshit
Can we still be friends? --worst question ever after a break-up
Yes. --though there was no intention of ever talking again
Ok, cya around. --"YES its finally over, now i can fuck that other chick/guy"
Some of those sayings can just devastate people. yunno? i can't tell you how many times people have been like they used the its not you its me excuse. that horrible. gad tell it like it is. why am i talking about this? idk it just crossed my mind that there are certain words that just effect your life more than others. even one word can change you. like being called a bitch, gay, ho, slut, faggot, ect. its so weird how people are effected by sayings. like I hate you. sometimes people can really think you hate them. so don't say it unless you mean it. same with I love you. if you don't mean something then don't say it. today was a shitty day. idk why though. i guess just my history test i don't think i did that well. which is sad because i need that score to be decent. and i had no gas. no big deal. i was starving and my brother took my money cause he was hungry. and then blake was being an ass. and idk just other things didn't go well. it was crap. oh and i hate it when i fucking walk in late to practice and people are like where were you how come you didn't help with mats. and then sarah coke walks in late and everyone's like HEEEY SARAH! im like FUCK THAT. its bull she didn't help set up at all. she's doesn't help very often with anything. its complete crap. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr and i went to watch the cascade meet and sadly baker beat cascade but shawna did soo awesome! she got a 9.6 on beam. it was fantastic! i was like YEAAAAAH! and this girl from baker did everything one handed on floor cause her other arm was wrapped up. it was the weirdest thing ever. she did front handsprings and 2 back handsprings with one hand. it was nuts. i tell you. |
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| wages put on pages of lies - gambling addiction |
[Dec. 14th, 2005|12:33 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | accomplished | ] |
cold hand against my warm skin
im exhausted. nuff said. yesterday i got six hours of sleep from typing two eight page essays. freaking bull i hate it. and i worked out at auburn and then went home and chilled for fifteen minutes then i hadda help my grama clean a bank and then go to gymnastics practice at express. it was nuts! but thankfully i got my double salto pass.. it was rather exciting cause it wasn't the boring front tuck back tuck.. it was kinda fun doing to tucks in a row whip back back tuck. hella! i think everyone should try it at least once just because its super super good fun. you feel like your bouncing and flying at the same time. really a new experience. lol! i slept for twelve hours. and im still tired as heck. ahaha i bought twenty two bucks in candy today with chelsea. it was unbelievable we were laughin because its just funny two walk around with all this candy in your arms. and we got starbucks i wish heath woulda come it was fun getting starbucks and bein like psh sarah coke is a dirty ho. lol i feel bad because none of us like her in slightest well at least as far as i know yet we all try to be nice to her. its kinda two faced. but i guess being mean is not gonna get us anywhere and being nice only helps our reps with other gymnasts. damn. life's a bitch. i wanna be so ripped this summer. i wanna drive around top down bikini on and just feel good knowing that i have the stomach i want and the bicepts i want. GOD i want my abs to show.. i want my six pack to be like BAM and my arms to be toned and strong. garsh. summer is wonderful. i can't wait! :)
love love love |
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